Our time has come. No more shall we be forced to endure in silence the atrocity that is white people with dreadlocks. From a purely aesthetic standpoint, they are patently offensive. From a tactile, hygienic standpoint, they are unpleasant and stenchy. From a universal standpoint, they are impermeably indefensible. These pathetic, these creatures lacking any critical judgment whatsoever when it comes to their heads, these mindless lambs orgiastically writhing in their contrived individuality, must be led into the light. The warm, glowing light of the internet. Rise, fellow disgusted – and join me. This is a global effort.
Why just white people? Admittedly, this is something of a misnomer. Truly, anyone that doesn’t have the necessary hair structure to create dreadlocks that don’t suck is guilty of aesthetic turpitude. One time, the creator of this website saw an Asian guy with dreadlocks and nearly died in total happiness.
Here is an example of dreadlocks that don’t suck; indeed they look pretty cool. And clean. Not like matted, rootlike, floppy keratin horns coming out of his scalp:
Here is an example of the best dreadlocks for which white people can delusively hope; you will note that this is a digital rendering of cracker fairies. In truth, good dreads on white people are much like this image: impossible; a beautiful fantasy that requires magic and a complete disconnect from reality:
Were all dreadlocks created equal, this site would not exist. Fortunately, they are not, so fight the good fight – send your candid photos of hair abortions to firstname.lastname@example.org. Do not wait. This is our day.