The Cause

Our time has come. No more shall we be forced to endure in silence the atrocity that is white people with dreadlocks. From a purely aesthetic standpoint, they are patently offensive. From a tactile, hygienic standpoint, they are unpleasant and stenchy. From a universal standpoint, they are impermeably indefensible. These pathetic, these creatures lacking any critical judgment whatsoever when it comes to their heads, these mindless lambs orgiastically writhing in their contrived individuality, must be led into the light. The warm, glowing light of the internet. Rise, fellow disgusted – and join me. This is a global effort.

Why just white people? Admittedly, this is something of a misnomer. Truly, anyone that doesn’t have the necessary hair structure to create dreadlocks that don’t suck is guilty of aesthetic turpitude. One time, the creator of this website saw an Asian guy with dreadlocks and nearly died in total happiness.

Here is an example of dreadlocks that don’t suck; indeed they look pretty cool. And clean. Not like matted, rootlike, floppy keratin horns coming out of his scalp:

Here is an example of the best dreadlocks for which white people can delusively hope; you will note that this is a digital rendering of cracker fairies. In truth, good dreads on white people are much like this image: impossible; a beautiful fantasy that requires magic and a complete disconnect from reality:

Were all dreadlocks created equal, this site would not exist. Fortunately, they are not, so fight the good fight – send your candid photos of hair abortions to dreadedwhitepeople@gmail.com. Do not wait. This is our day.

Publicize your allegiance on Facebook.

7 thoughts on “The Cause

  1. A entire ‘site’ devoted to something that you hate? What sort of upbringing does one need to become an ignorant and narrow minded sad being… Military? sent off to boarding school and still angry?
    Try self harming its better for everyone…..

    • For someone who advocates something besides hate, physical harm seems an odd choice. In fact, similar enough that it almost seems…narrow-minded?

  2. The maker of this site has no life, he obviously hates himself and has found a target. I would bet he is balding, short, has a very small penis, and played football in high school, an absolute loser who has no other way to pick on people anymore, so he takes to the internet. Maybe he just got the shit beat out of him by some guy with dreads, either way someone like this is better off pass-out drunk, a total waste of life.

    • NOPE. Do you call yourself Dreads because you are, in fact, a dreaded white person? That would explain your whiny butthurt.

  3. Dude, why should you care what other people do with their hair? It’s their right, just let them do their thing. I think white people look great with dreads. 😛

  4. There is actually a picture of me, in a COSTUME, on this website. Seriously, you are criticizing a steam punk costume. Be careful, people like you always get their comeuppance.

    • This is a DWP first! I’m not sure why you’re pointing out that the post criticized steam punk costumes, because that’s what it was entirely devoted to, or why you would be surprised to see a picture of you in a steampunk costume appropriating other cultures that’s been posted online in one place now online in another place. That said, if you would like it removed, feel free to e-mail me and let me know which one it is, and I’ll take it down. (Judge Dread is not without mercy.)

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