Dreaded White People and their Innocent Spawn


That child is on the verge of either crying or laughing. My wager is on crying. And the doofy mother with her circus wrist warmers and gift wrap bow is like ‘Om shanti, little one. Eat some banana and shut up, we’re at a protest. It’s awesome!’


Based on the age of the child, and assuming that’s his mother, it’s safe to say she had those dreads when she gave birth. Perhaps even at conception. Given the Nuptial Edition, I should not be surprised that white people with dreads manage to get laid, but still…I am.


 The glee with which that child in her Toms is about to dispatch that dread onto the floor is all the proof you need. White dreadlocks are an abomination and not even children can bear them.


Is this the most horrific picture of the bunch? Here is a dreaded white lady handing off her newly shorn dreads to a bewildered, clearly disturbed child. What kind of parenting is this? Those are undoubtedly a biohazard. It is bizarre that there seems to be an audience present for the event, although…someone cutting off her white dreads does sound like a pretty joyous occasion. Maybe this is actually the greatest picture.


 This cute little guy is too young to comprehend the idea of cultural appropriation or unforgivable hair, hence the mischievous, carefree smile on his happy little face.


You can almost see the understanding dawning on this toddler’s face; clearly, she’s just emerged from the cave and is still squinting in the unforgiving light of knowledge.


Love him while you can, before he realizes what’s happening on your head.

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